Honey

It’s dark when I wake up in the morning. When I leave the office, it’s not only dark, but also cold, windy, and rainy. I drive home in blustery, dangerous conditions. Traffic is worse this time of year, as drivers are more careful and more tired all at the same time. When I get home, I don’t feel like doing anything because the dark blanket of sky is signaling to my susceptible mind that it’s time for bed.

There’s an extra quiet in the evening. The whole world seems to go to sleep long before bedtime. I imagine everyone in Portland cozy and cuddling in front of a fireplace, reading a book and feeling safe and warm. Life is good.

And then I start to feel restless. Sometimes the darkness presses down on me a little too forcefully and I want to push back, do something crazy like go for a bike ride in the middle of the night. I feel all cooped up in my house and I need to do something, anything that will make me feel productive and alive again.

I haven’t felt depressed yet this year, but I’m no stranger to the sadness that can creep up out of the wintery cold and cause me to lose sight of myself for awhile. I have a long, long way to go before spring lifts me up, but so far I’m avoiding descent into emotional valleys with daily exercise, going on lots of dates with my excellent girlfriend, and going to T’ai Chi class after work.

Does your routine change when winter comes? How do you stay active when it’s dark so much of the time?