Honey

Agent and I were discussing my life on the Internets when I realized the reason I love blogging and twittering and all this other online self expression. That’s right, I like to flaunt myself in front of the whole world, exposed for everyone to see.

Sometimes having so much of myself out here for anyone to judge and know is a lttle scary. As some of you know, I can be susceptible to manipulation and I’m certainly very sensitive to the outside world. I continue to struggle against being vulnerable and for maintaining boundaries but it’s tricky sometimes.

It’s worth it though, for now. I love writing and reading what others are writing and thinking about all kinds of things and then writing some more. All this writing is keeping me nimble and thoughtful. I love imagining that someone will actually be reading this and it makes me feel inspired and alive.

Agent and I are madly in love with eachother. With every passing year, we know ourselves and the other better and better. We have so much fun together all the time and we barely ever argue. We’re opposites and yet we fit together like feet in shoes. (Agent came up with that metaphor.)

Agent and I get along so well because she is endlessly entertaining and I am a very good girlfriend. She tolerates me and I remain entranced by her genius. Agent takes care of everything and I buy her shoes.

That pretty much sums up why we will never break up.

we love football
for all of you who don’t follow football let us (agent and honey-face) explain a few things.
first of all football season is half over. boo.
secondly we wait ALL year for football. yay!
thirdly you must pick yr favorite teams. this is a very important process and is different for everyone. for me(agent) it is mostly two things, one i ask myself did i ever live in that town and two, probably the most important part, what color are their outfits. then if you like their outfits enough you can purchase a jersey of your own.
i (agent) have two saints jerseys their home color and their away color. honey has a seahawks jersey and we put them on to watch the games. it makes it much more exciting.
also football is fun because the commentators say really gay things like “that tight end took it straight up the middle”
but mostly football is just fun to watch. once you learn the rules and understand why they are standing around all the time it’s very interesting. football is actually one of the most strategic games out there. all the plays they have, when to use them, how to use the clock to their advantage, when to challenge, so many pieces go into a football game. and we like to spend sunday trying to figure it out.
one last thing. the commercials. i appreciate them so much more now that i love football. here are a few we love. maybe more than a few.

I felt a sense of relief when I drifted awake this morning. I woke up knowing that for the first time in my country’s history, we the people elected an African American president, a man with the passion to inspire millions and the even temperament to handle the challenges ahead. I am proud of my country’s ability to unite together, to make incredible things happen, and to believe in miracles.

Unfortunately, all that relief dissipated after a quick check on the Internets this morning. California let me down, voting to amend the state constitution to deny gay people the right to marry.

This country changes slowly, and even then, change happens on the edges, in the cities and college towns. While Obama promises change, I no longer hold on to hope for change that will mean anything to my identities as woman or as queer. I am left with a feeling more of being impressed than proud, fascinated than inspired, an outsider to the excitement shared by so many of the people around me.

We put up a good fight though, and so many people sacrificed so much to make proposition 8 a close and contested battle. I’m so very glad to be part of a community that works so hard to express love in the face of hatred and fear. I am so grateful to all the people in California and everywhere else who worked hard against proposition 8.

Obama might not have been talking about the rights of gays when he said this, but I took some hope from the following words in his speech last night and applied them to my own struggle for equal rights:

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America – I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you – we as a people will get there.

Proposition 8 was a setback. My heart goes out to all the folks who were married this year in California. This unfortunate vote is disheartening, but we will continue to fight for equality and one day, we will be victorious.

Photo by honey darling